dreams and time

Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time.
Jorge Borges

Science doesn't interest me. It doesn't take into account dreams, chance, laughter, emotion and contradiction, things that are precious to me.
Luis Bunuel

If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.
Marcel Proust

reminiscences of our sanest hour

Each new year is a surprise to us. We find that we had virtually forgotten the note of each bird, and when we hear it again it is remembered like a dream, reminding us of a previous state of existence. How happens it that the associations it awakens are always pleasing, never saddening; reminiscences of our sanest hours? The voice of nature is always encouraging.

Henry David Thoreau

bird people

If bird people
were the world
our lives would
span continents.
We would fly from
land to land
and wing across
the sparkling seas.

We would carry
our possessions
and our homes
along with us,
woven from alloys
featherweight yet
with the tensile
strength of steel.

We would settle
in pairs to take
our mates for life.

In some quiet inlet
we would watch
our fledglings leap
from the cliffs
in first flight.

We would create
music to fill
the skies and
temper the air
with beauty.

We would never
lose our sense
of direction.

And we would soon
find the stars
and other worlds
beyond our own.

Bruce Boston, "Bird People"

that i must wear armor

Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music and rhythm and song and laughter?
Why am I afraid to live, I who love life
and the beauty of flesh and the living colors of earth and sea and sky?
Why am I afraid to love, I who love?
Why am I afraid, I who am not afraid?
Why must I pretend to scorn in order to pity?
Why must I hide myself in self-contempt in order to understand?
Why must I be so ashamed of my strength, so proud of my weakness?
Why must I live in a cage like a criminal, defying and hating, I who love peace and friendship?
Why was I born without a skin? Oh God, that I must wear armor in order to touch or be touched.

Eugene O'Neill

doing away with happiness and sadness

Miserably cold, the temple before dawn,
Still and lonely, few monks to be seen;
The temple is old, with soot-blackened walls,
The pond overgrown, its surface like folds in a robe;
Incense before the Buddha has burned, gone out, turned cold,
The sermon over, blossoms fly in the rain;
I've reached the point of doing away with happiness
and sadness -
A white board door swinging to and fro in the breeze.

Gido Shushin

attend the tale of sweeney todd

postsecret: viii

postsecret

lessons from dr. boroto: part i

"When the Summer Sun Fades Away," also by Aiecd.
1. Relationships should not be 50-50, with each person meeting the other halfway. Instead, relationships should be 100-100, with each person giving 100%.

2. When someone says "thank you," it is impolite to reply with "no problem" because it devalues their thank you. Always say “you’re welcome.”

3. Relationships need two things in order to work. One, both parties must agree to tell the truth, and then to clean it up when they haven’t. Two, both parties must agree upon goals for the relationship. The goals do not have to be the same, but both parties must support the goals.

4. Saying “when the time is right” is an excuse for not saying something. The time is always right when it’s never right.

5. Remember to constantly ask yourself, “What is more important: being right, or getting the job done?”

6. Always act intentionally, and intent requires awareness. If the outcome matches the intentions, then you are successful.

7. The second most powerful reinforcer is being right and avoiding being wrong. We are quick to blame others. Instead of saying “you are annoying me,” one should say, “I am annoyed by your actions.” Do not place the blame elsewhere. (The single most powerful reinforcer is attention.)

8. Self-righteousness and intimacy are mutually exclusive. We don’t like to be intimate in fear that it would give our partners more power over us. You can’t be intimate if you’re making the other person wrong.

9. All unhappiness comes from the single statement: “Things should not be this way.”

lessons from dr. boroto: part ii

"Say Goodbye to a Stranger," by Aiecd.
10. 98% of responsible relationships is listening. You must even listen to yourself speak in order to hear what others are hearing. If your message does not come across, do not say “I didn’t say that.” Instead, say, “I did not intend to say that.” Continue to listen, continue to try.

11. Most of our anxiety is the result of pretensiousness. We want others to think of us differently than how we really are, so put on façades. We lie about ourselves and then experience anxiety because we’re waiting to be caught.

12. Don’t tell your best friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. You’re not God, and your actions take away his chances of confessing to her. Plus, those being cheated on always know; they may not know the details, but they know there is a perpetration in the relationship.

13. If you look for something wrong with someone, you will always find it.

14. The Uniformity Myth – We assume that people think like us… or that they should.

15. Change and stimulation create upset (negative feelings that show up unexpectedly). Even positive change can be upsetting. Grief is the realization of lost opportunities, and we want all things possible at any given moment, which is why making decisions is so hard.

16. It is hard for people to simply “be with” one another.

17. Judgements about other people says nothing about those people, only about the evaluator. Judgements show the evaluator’s standards and their willingness to be generous or petty. Negative judgements are influenced by lack of sleep, poor eating habits, and a polluted social environment.

18. You don’t have to feel ready to do something. There are some things we will never be ready for.

lessons from dr. boroto: part iii

As an undergrad, I took a Psychology of Adjustment class under the guidance of Dr. Boroto, and it changed my life. I never missed a class, and I took notes as if my life depended on it. He showed me how to diminish anxiety, how to truly and unselfishly love another, and how withheld communication is always bad. The following are, in no particular order, some of the insights I learned from this wise and generous man.

"Rainbow Strokes" by Holly Siek.
19. Pain is physical; suffering is psychological. Suffering comes from resisting your experience. You can have pain with suffering, pain without suffering, and you can have pain or suffering. The only way to get rid of anxiety is to experience it.

20. Do not keep withheld communication. It is insulting to the other person, and it drains the relationship of energy. Withheld communication is an incompletion, and it is a broken implied agreement.

21. In our culture, we promote guilt. Instead of feeling guilty, make an effective apology. Feeling guilty doesn’t solve anything.

22. Do not give any advice. Do not take any advice either. Solutions require responsibility, and people need to be responsible for their own actions.

23. Anxiety is the anticipation of pain or discomfort. It requires future-orientation, so, by focusing on the present, one can relieve anxiety.

24. To be lazy is to be selfish.

25. In relationships, do not start talking until the other person is physically, mentally, and emotionally available. Also, do not start a conversation unnless you are physically, mentally, and emotionally available. Communication is a function of intention.

26. The only way to make a good decision is to know the outcome, and no one has enough information for that. So, a good decision is one that you are willing to take responsibility for.

27. When you tell the truth, no one is wrong.

threadless

I just bought some shirts from Threadless.

I do love movies.

I really love zombies.

This last one is my favorite. I had to buy it.
I've made every single one of these wishes on a star at some point.

in his eyes

Art: "Duels at Neo" by Autumn Goddess.

EMMA:
If I'm wise,
I will walk away,
And gladly...

LUCY:
But, sadly,
I'm not wise,
It's hard to talk away
The mem'ries that you prize!

EMMA:
Love is worth forgiving for!

LUCY:
Now I realize -

LUCY/EMMA:
Everything worth living for
Is there, in his eyes!

From the beautiful musical Jekyll and Hyde,
music by Frank Wildhorn and book
and lyrics by Leslie Bricusse.

It's finally available on iTunes!

because you don't even have to try

Juno: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie: You mean as friends?
Juno: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie: I try really hard, actually.

From the upcoming film Juno.

but fear not...

Our bodies are prisons for our souls. Our skin and blood, the iron bars of confinement. But fear not. All flesh decays. Death turns all to ash. And thus, death frees every soul.

From the film The Fountain.

tapestry

My life has been a tapestry
Of rich and royal hue;
An everlasting vision
Of the ever-changing view;
A wond'rous woven magic
In bits of blue and gold;
A tapestry to feel and see;
Impossible to hold.

Once amid the soft silver
Sadness in the sky,
There came a man of fortune;
A drifter passing by.
He wore a torn and tattered cloth
Around his leathered hide
And a coat of many colors;
Yellow, green, on either side.

He moved with some uncertainty
As if he didn't know
Just what he was there for
Or where he ought to go.
Once he reached for something
Golden hanging from a tree
And his hand came down emp-ty.

Soon within my tapestry,
Along the rutted road,
He sat down on a river rock
And turned into a toad.
It seemed that he had fallen
Into someone's wicked spell
And I wept to see him suffer,
Though I didn't know him well.

As I watched in sorrow,
There suddenly appeared
A figure gray and ghostly
Beneath a flowing beard.
In times of deepest darkness
I've seen him dressed in black.
Now my tapestry's unraveling;
He's come to take me back.
He's come to take me back.

Carole King, "Tapestry"

arrested development

[Lucille replaces Lupe with a robot vacuum cleaner, then catches Buster in bed with it]
Buster: Well, what do you expect, mother? [holds up his hook] I'm half machine! I'm a monster!

Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No. Your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael.
Wife of Gob: No. That's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me? Me.
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother?
Wife of Gob: No.


Steve Holt!: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more.
Steve Holt!: I won't forget this... Dad.
Gob: [swallows roofie] I will. I will.


Tobias Fünke: [as British Mrs. Featherbottom] Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? [laughs] Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a *sausage* in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Rita: And they think the stupidest things are funny.
Michael Bluth: Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development.
Narrator: Hey. That's the name of the show.


Narrator: For the first time, Lucille prays...
Lucille: [praying] Take something else from us. Do whatever you have to to keep my boy from going to war.
Narrator: And Buster is on his way when he decides to pursue a long-delayed rite of passage...
[Buster swims in the ocean]
Passerby: Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal!
Buster: [thinking he means Lucille] I don't care about Lucille. She lies.
Narrator: ...and then a seal bites off his hand.
Lucille: Amen.

lucy in the sky with diamonds

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," the Beatles, opening lines.

half-full or half-empty?

When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty, my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup.

Samuel Lefkowitz

stars, songs, faces

Gather the stars if you wish it so.
Gather the songs and keep them.
Gather the faces of women.
Gather for keeping years and years.

And then …
Loosen your hands, let go and say good-bye.
Let the stars and songs go.
Let the faces and years go.
Loosen your hands and say good-bye.

Carl Sandburg

frankenstein's monster

Of what a strange nature is knowledge! It clings to the mind, when it has once seized on it, like a lichen on the rock. I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling; but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death -- a state which I feared but did not understand. I admired virtue and good feelings, and loved the gentle manners and amiable qualities of my cottagers; but I was shut out from intercourse with them, except through means which I obtained by stealth, when I was unseen and unknown, and which rahter increased than satisfied the desire I had of becoming one among my fellows. The gentle words of Agatha, and the animated smile of the charming Arabian, were not for me. The mild exhortations of the old man, and the lively conversation of the loved Felix, were not for me. Miserable, unhappy wretch!

The Monster's account of how he, more or less, became human.
From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

gondry: bachelorette

Bjork's "Bachelorette,"
directed by the ingenious Michel Gondry.

happiness

Stephen L. Miller
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.

Anne Frank