1. Relationships should not be 50-50, with each person meeting the other halfway. Instead, relationships should be 100-100, with each person giving 100%.
2. When someone says "thank you," it is impolite to reply with "no problem" because it devalues their thank you. Always say “you’re welcome.”
3. Relationships need two things in order to work. One, both parties must agree to tell the truth, and then to clean it up when they haven’t. Two, both parties must agree upon goals for the relationship. The goals do not have to be the same, but both parties must support the goals.
4. Saying “when the time is right” is an excuse for not saying something. The time is always right when it’s never right.
5. Remember to constantly ask yourself, “What is more important: being right, or getting the job done?”
6. Always act intentionally, and intent requires awareness. If the outcome matches the intentions, then you are successful.
7. The second most powerful reinforcer is being right and avoiding being wrong. We are quick to blame others. Instead of saying “you are annoying me,” one should say, “I am annoyed by your actions.” Do not place the blame elsewhere. (The single most powerful reinforcer is attention.)
8. Self-righteousness and intimacy are mutually exclusive. We don’t like to be intimate in fear that it would give our partners more power over us. You can’t be intimate if you’re making the other person wrong.
9. All unhappiness comes from the single statement: “Things should not be this way.”
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