arrested development

[Lucille replaces Lupe with a robot vacuum cleaner, then catches Buster in bed with it]
Buster: Well, what do you expect, mother? [holds up his hook] I'm half machine! I'm a monster!

Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No. Your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael.
Wife of Gob: No. That's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me? Me.
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother?
Wife of Gob: No.


Steve Holt!: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more.
Steve Holt!: I won't forget this... Dad.
Gob: [swallows roofie] I will. I will.


Tobias Fünke: [as British Mrs. Featherbottom] Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? [laughs] Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a *sausage* in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Rita: And they think the stupidest things are funny.
Michael Bluth: Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development.
Narrator: Hey. That's the name of the show.


Narrator: For the first time, Lucille prays...
Lucille: [praying] Take something else from us. Do whatever you have to to keep my boy from going to war.
Narrator: And Buster is on his way when he decides to pursue a long-delayed rite of passage...
[Buster swims in the ocean]
Passerby: Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal!
Buster: [thinking he means Lucille] I don't care about Lucille. She lies.
Narrator: ...and then a seal bites off his hand.
Lucille: Amen.