10. 98% of responsible relationships is listening. You must even listen to yourself speak in order to hear what others are hearing. If your message does not come across, do not say “I didn’t say that.” Instead, say, “I did not intend to say that.” Continue to listen, continue to try.
11. Most of our anxiety is the result of pretensiousness. We want others to think of us differently than how we really are, so put on façades. We lie about ourselves and then experience anxiety because we’re waiting to be caught.
12. Don’t tell your best friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. You’re not God, and your actions take away his chances of confessing to her. Plus, those being cheated on always know; they may not know the details, but they know there is a perpetration in the relationship.
13. If you look for something wrong with someone, you will always find it.
14. The Uniformity Myth – We assume that people think like us… or that they should.
15. Change and stimulation create upset (negative feelings that show up unexpectedly). Even positive change can be upsetting. Grief is the realization of lost opportunities, and we want all things possible at any given moment, which is why making decisions is so hard.
16. It is hard for people to simply “be with” one another.
17. Judgements about other people says nothing about those people, only about the evaluator. Judgements show the evaluator’s standards and their willingness to be generous or petty. Negative judgements are influenced by lack of sleep, poor eating habits, and a polluted social environment.
18. You don’t have to feel ready to do something. There are some things we will never be ready for.
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